prelims!

i honestly do not mind having exams everyday till olevels. prelims are kinda fun, but it really makes me lose my sleep. i'm a mugger. i have poor memory retention. anyway, i love my phone!
w580i. however, i still think i could have gotten a better phone. i still don't see anybody else in school having the same phone as me. i have managed to find time to use the computer without my mother nagging. i can proudly say that i've completed about 140hours of studying. i seriously wonder why some people give up halfway, i think this fairfield lifelong learner challenge has really motivated me.

friday
went rollerblading with yiling. i must say, many of us sec4s kinda celebrated the end of one week of prelims. shuyi, sihui, yiling, may, allicia & i had a chicken rice celebration at dover. after council & red cross phototaking, i went rollerblading with yiling. haha. it's been a long time since i rollerbladed. my old pair doesn't fit me anymore.

you tell me
what does it feel like to be in love?

does it soothe--
like a soft mist dusting your neck,
cooling your shoulders,
relaxing your tensions?

does it seize--
like an unrelenting grasp over your being,
your smiles and your tears,
your common sense and your emotions?

does it excite--
starting at your toes and rising to your chest,
then your throat where it hold its breath,
until it can't help but scream?

does it confuse--
am i supposed to feel this way?
does he feel this way? why does he lead me on?
what is it in those eyes that makes me so flustered?

you tell me.
does every smile, every glance, every chance meeting
feel like a promise to love you back?
not because that's what you really think,
but because it's what you think
to keep the hope of a fairy-tale romance
from fading?

does every conversation
linger for days?
every frame
clear but unreal
in every daydreamy version?

you tell me.

does he consume your mind?
day to long-awaited day
until everything has lost its original luster
when he isn't around
to charm the scene?

does every playful poke
make you float above cloud nince
like you're rising but staying still?
does every friendly hug
force the corners of your mouth up into a stupid grin?

why do my knees become uselessly weak
with every meaningless touch--
or even when he walks within twenty feet
of my 'personal space'?

you tell me.

does it always feel like more than just a crush
or a silly infatuation
when he talks to you
just like you would imagine a soul mate would
and laughs at your jokes?

"if it feels like love isn't it love?"

you tell me.

because what do i know about it?
i'm only a kid, right?
heck, i've only been in love twice or thrice
the rest
are just infatuations